+ confessions of a red-headed stepchild: February 2005

Thursday, February 24, 2005

can't wait for summer

chicken. head off. running

Moving sucks. There is so much that needs doing. I can't even seem to walk fast enough.

Although it isn't supposed to rain this weekend, that doesn't account for all the worrying. There is cleaning, unpacking, closing out utility bills and starting new ones, trying to figure out who the hell picks up trash on that side of town (St. Johns, if you know please tell me!), change of address forms, oh and I am trying to buy a car right now because if I had to rely on the mine I wouldn't have a job.

My wonderful business idea of the day: one website that does it all. A moving website where you create an account, you can hire movers (I wish!), rent a truck, switch your utilities and change your address all at once. Run with it, someone.

Monday, February 21, 2005

i love you hunter

I am heart broken. I woke up this morning to find that Hunter S. Thompson killed himself. And because this is my weird fucking life it happens when I am smack in the middle of reading Fear and Loathing in America. When I am inside of his world. Living his life with him each night before I go to bed. And this changes the whole fucking story. I know the ending and I haven't finished the book.

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." HST

Saturday, February 19, 2005

a lesson in humility




This is the third year I finished the Hagg Lake Trail Run. And probably the tenth time I have ran a considerable distance with little to no training. There is nothing like passing a sign that says "7.5 miles - You are halfway!" when everything in your body and your mind is telling you to stop. But as quickly as those feelings come, they subside. And you can go on. You can finish a 15 mile run with absolutely no training. But you finish next to last, covered in mud, promising yourself that this is the last time.

Friday, February 18, 2005

the word

  • I am running 15 miles tomorrow and haven't trained at all.

  • The house is mine. I have the keys. It is mine! Now I just have to pack. My co-workers had a housewarming luncheon for me today and it was so special! I never thought I would be excited to receive gift cards to Home Depot and a computerized thermostat.

  • I recently saw Ten, Directed by Abbas Kiarostami. It is a very interesting film about women's rights in Iran. If subtitles don't scare you then you should check it out.

  • Go ahead, I dare you to get better than my 86% on your first try. Okay I was playing Asshole during geography class, so you will probably beat me.

  • I just bought two shirts from my cafepress store and they are so super sexy. Go to cafepress and make your own clothes damn it.

friday confessional

When I was in the fourth grade I went door to door with a friend to collect money for charity. We used the money for video games and candy bars.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

self portrait wednesday


This is going to be fun.

it offends my sense of survival

I actually told a guy I was about to go on a date with that his coat was telling me he wouldn't know what to do if he were lost in the woods.

Talk about Tourette's.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

if only their problems were so easily solved

While I was at the bank yesterday I overheard a funny conversation. Probably not so funny for those involved.

At the teller next to me was a young couple, the girl was very pregnant. They were depositing a check and trying to make a withdrawal. Evidentially homeboy overdrew the account. The teller told him the account had a negative balance, therefore only part of the desired sum would be available. Before he could even open his mouth girlfriend turned to him and said, shaking her french manicured finger in the air, "What happened? Where did the money go? Huh?". He looked like he had no clue how he would get himself out of this one. So he asked the teller to explain what happened, as if he didn't already know. The teller told him about some checks that bounced and several overdraft charges that were incurred. He said in a tough guy kind of way, hoping to regain some sense of control, "that's cool, because I am closing this account tomorrow anyway. I am going to Washington Mutual."

Monday, February 14, 2005

this is the part of me that is anti-social

Why would someone borrow a pair of rollerskates on Halloween and not have them returned by Valentine's Day?

jack pooped!




We got Jack when he was a year old and much to our surprise he was not potty trained. Over the last year there have been many small improvements, but today, this morning specifically, he got my attention and walked towards the door. I put my slippers on in a mad rush and once we were out the door he immediately started taking care of business. It was awesome!

Sunday, February 13, 2005

a whole lotta ass

Tom and I just got back from Lexi Dog. If you live in the portland area and have a dog you should go to their playgroup on Sundays. It is a great way to socialize your pup and whether you like it or not you will get to see a ton of ass crack when girls bend down to pet the little dogs. Thanks Britney.

I am signing the papers for my house on Valentine's Day. Did I mention we will have our own driveway? It is so amazing. I won't have to hide from my neighbors anymore either. The possibilities are endless.

Friday, February 11, 2005

friday confessional

I secretly wish that certain players on my soccer team would quit. Every time we register for a new season. And it isn't because I don't like them. It is because they are really really bad at playing soccer and I am competitive and I want to win the fucking game.

i heart skipper

My imaginary friend Skipper has come out with his February mix tape. Enjoy!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

sweaters, porn and bible stories

1. The sweater project. Hideous.
2. I must have been doing a keg stand when this came on.
3. In case you didn't already know geeekgirl.com is a porn site.
4. Bjork has finally lost her mind. Watch her new video here.
5. The Bible. Reenactment by the Lego people.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

last call for king cake

It is fat Tuesday which means nothing to us on the west coast but to those living in New Orleans this means that the party is almost over. The 2 million tourists, the 7 dollar pack of cigarettes, the parades that keep you from walking or driving anywhere for two weeks straight, the beads, the trash, the college boys from Texas that keep yelling at you to show your tits at 9am on your way to work, they are all packing up and going home, soon.

But the best part of fat Tuesday is that come tomorrow, no one will offer you king cake again for a whole year!

the whistle done been blowed

I am half way through my third krispy kreme doughnut. And I am thinking: these are really good.

The BCTI investigation is over and I couldn't be happier with the results. I was asked on several occasion what I hoped to gain, if I was after money or fame. You read right, fame. It is amazing how some people totally miss the fucking point. I had a student in my class with a traumatic brain injury and I was asked to pass him even though he couldn't do the work. What would you do?

An old co-worker recently emailed me and said: "you are the only person I have ever met that actually stood by her values when a situation called for it."

That is why I did it. Because it was the right thing to do. And I had nothing to gain, rather a lot to lose.

You can read more about the bcti chronicles here.

Monday, February 07, 2005

my golden super bowl moment

Even though I don't like sporting events I go to Jenni's super bowl party every year because I love eating hot wings and chugging beer like a frat boy.

For some reason we decided to drive my car to the party, which caused a lot of frustration because it kept stalling in the middle of moving traffic. After the 5th stall we decided to go back and get Tom's car. All of this making us late. And I hate being late. So when I finally got to Jenni's I was immediately occupied by unwinding in the form of large vodka drinks.

Now I am not a stupid girl. But it seems like everyday I learn something new that everyone else already knows. Like the soup of the day is clam chowder on Friday. I didn't know that. I have no problem telling people when I don't know something, because I really do love to learn new things. As long as it isn't about sports, I tune all of that out.

You want to know what I said don't you? The party stopper. The one thing that makes all other conversations screech to a halt so everyone can get a good look at the girl who just said "Paul McCartney is the last Beatle left? I didn't know Eric Clapton died."

And there you have it. My weekly contribution to the file labeled I don't know what I am talking about, where you will find other entertaining items such as, "Elton John is gay?"

Saturday, February 05, 2005

kissing cousins

While reading Stoned, Naked and Looking in my Neighbor's Window I noticed a lot of the confessions were about kissing family members. This got me thinking about my childhood and some fuzzy memories I had of making out with my cousin Maile. So on my visit to NM I decided to ask her if she remembered any such thing. After a few shots of tequila and several karaoke songs, we agreed that we kissed in her closet, once.

When I got home I wanted to write about Maile and tell the Internet how much I love her. I wanted to post a picture of us together, so I could share with you how insanely cute we are, and I can't find one where we aren't kissing, or about to kiss, which makes me wonder why I ever wondered if we kissed.





i am geeekgirl.net



geeekgirl.net. Go ahead, click on it.

With the new domain name I promise more shit talking, beer chugging and naked chicks. Doesn't that sound exciting!

10 ways to tell someone that their zipper is down

by David Letterman

10. The cucumber has left the salad.

9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.

8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...

6. Elvis is leaving the building.

5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.

4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.

3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

2. Men may be From Mars... but I can see something that rhymes with Venus.

And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is unzipped...

1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.

Friday, February 04, 2005

i actually heard someone say this

"He spends so much time in Chicago, he is going to come back with a southern drawl."

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

first things first

First "when I grow up": I never knew what I wanted to be, and I still don't. Sometimes I think that being a private investigator would be fun.

First pet: Jilly Willy, a toy poodle. She was bit by a rattlesnake and almost died. We were super tight, like ate cheerios out of the same bowl kind of tight. Then my Dad divorced a very evil women who kidnapped Jill when she moved out.

First enemy: Dusty Miller, in the fifth grade. We met in the back field to fight and I was so scared I could have fainted. We were sentenced to detention after she slapped me across the face. Our punishment was to sit in the same room with each other for an entire school day. We mended bridges quickly.

First real kiss: Billy Day at an Ashland Grizzlies football game, aka a place to smoke and drink and kiss while your parents think you are being supervised.

First job: At a pizza parlor, I was 14.

First car: Datsun B1200. A death trap, not unlike the car I drive now.

First love: Jude O'Reilly. A heart wrenching tale containing many other firsts.

First move away from home: Hawaii when I was 18. It was fabulous.

First wedding: My mom's third marriage when I was 5.

First funeral: The son of my mom's boss. He was autistic and was shot while taking a walk in the woods, by a hunter. I am not a fan of the sport. Is that what it is? A sport? That sounds sick.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

car for sale

I have spent over $800 on this piece of shit in the last year. There is no stereo. One of the back doors won't open. It is difficult to start (it floods if you press the gas pedal more than one time while starting it). "Toothless" Randy replaced the fuel pump and now it won't run unless the headlights are on.

I forgot to mention that I hit a parked car so both passenger side doors are dented. Other than that the car is in perfect condition!