confessions of a red-headed stepchild: June 2004

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

wwmd

No this is not about weapons of mass destruction, because there weren't any. This is "What Would Martha Do". For those of you who don't know, I am in love with Martha Stewart. Why do I love her? Because I could never think of this on my own.

My opinion of her situation in the news: I don't care.

Someone once told me "Darcie you are a strange mix between Nancy Spungen and Martha Stewart". I think this is because my house is always clean and I have been known to stay awake until the sunrises. I do love Martha. I have no idea who she is, I am not going to read Martha, Inc. because I don't care. I just want to live my life according to the calendar in each Martha Stewart Living magazine. I wish I had the time to go fly fishing, prune my roses, have a party, celebrate birthdays, tend to a vegtable garden, organize pantries and still trade stock at the end of each day.

Martha tip of the day:

"Don’t weep over chopped onions. If you cut them near an open flame, the gaseous sulfur compounds they release into the air will burn off before they can irritate your eyes. A gas burner works best, but if your stove is electric, try lighting a votive candle near your chopping board instead. "

Monday, June 21, 2004

my dad rocks

My Dad is one of my best friends and is one of the most intelligent, level headed people I have ever met in my life except when it comes to one thing: running.

He is just crazy about running. He has been a runner my entire life but it just got out of control over the last 5 or 6 years. He has most recently been training for his second 100 mile run. For all of you who want to ask if you get to take a break, or sleep, or do it over a few days, the answer is no. That is running 100 miles straight.

I will be flying out this Friday to help crew for his participation in the Western States 100. His girlfriend and I will meet him at check points along the way to help him change shoes, socks, get flash lights for night running, fill water bottles and give general encouragement. Wish us luck, not that I will need any but I really do hate snakes and don't want to see any!

where to pee

If you are not a transvestite you probably don’t think much about what it is like to be one. But I had a student a few months back that really made me question where he/she belonged in the grand scheme of things.

So much of our society focuses on sex. What is your sex, M or F, Women’s Room or Men’s Room? So what about the transvestites? I thought Peaches (I know the name should have been a dead give away) was female for months and just one day without shaving she became a man dressed as a woman right before my eyes. All became clear. I saw the adam’s apple, the man gut, everything I had ignored before because Peaches talked like a girl, had long hair, and was, in most senses of the word, a girl. I started feeling very confused. Does she want me to think that she is a girl? Am I insulting her by assuming she is one? Should I ask her what she prefers or pretend I never saw the five o’clock shadow? I began to wonder where Peaches should go to the restroom. Does she go in with the ladies? What if she hasn’t had a sex change?

Here is a solution for all you transvestites in Thailand, because even though you think you are the opposite sex, or would like to be, until the task has been completed you are still going to the wrong restroom whichever you choose. Not that I care, give me enough beers and I will go pee anywhere, even in between subway cars on a moving train.

Monday, June 14, 2004

sally struthers would not approve

Do you remember those old Sally Struthers' commercials where you could train at home for an exciting new career in just a few short weeks? Sally has moved on to helping starving children in Africa and after my stint at a career school I am happy to say that I have moved on too, only not on to another scam. For the last three years I worked for a career school, lets just say that their name was BCTI. While working there I was continually subjected to unethical and illegal practices. During a time when employment is hard to come by I couldn't do much more than speak my mind, since I really needed the paycheck. Below is an excerpt from a letter I wrote upon leaving BCTI. I mailed it to the Oregon Department of Education, ACCET (the accrediting agency for BCTI), the Federal Department of Education, the District Attorney and too many other agencies to count.

“A man in his seventies rides the bus to school each night to attend a computer school and when asked what he came to learn you will be shocked to hear that he wants to be a math teacher. He graduated from Lewis and Clark College in the 60s and already received a master’s degree in mathematics. Some students wonder how he finds his way each night because he can’t even remember the name of a classmate he has seen 5 hours a night, 5 nights a week, for over 100 class days, in a class with less than ten students. This man is over halfway through the program and can’t even use the first program introduced 100 class days ago. If you asked him which computer programs he has learned he can’t mention even 1 of the 5 that have been taught. No one knows if he suffers from a brain injury or Alzheimer’s but the obvious is that he should not be enrolled in school being charged for an education he is not capable of receiving.”

Of the twenty or so addresses emailed I only received two replies. Both showed little interest in helping see this situation get investigated.

I went to this man’s graduation last Friday. I was surprised that they used the term “honorary” in the ceremony when he was presented with his certificate. I heard from another employee of BCTI that ACCET gave them quite a scare a few days prior and BCTI decided not to charge him for his education. I am happy that I was able to accomplish that, but who is to say this won’t happen again?

In the mean time we can harass the shit out of them through the Contact Us page and ask them for more information regarding any of the following interesting subjects:

· Charging 10 thousand dollars for 7 ½ months of education.

· Used car lot interest rates on student loans, those not eligible for federal or state assistance are always eligible for a BCTI loan!

· Enrolling students who don’t speak English with no bilingual instructors on staff.

· Enrolling students who don’t read and write when the curriculum requires these skills.

· Encouraging instructors to give students 100% credit for just an attempt to do the work.

· Offering enrollment incentives for dropouts when students who enrolled the same day yet never dropped are not offered the same discount. This is a violation of ODE Private Career School Statute 581-045-0009.

· Firing an employee after she filed a workers compensation claim.

· Firing employees right before eliminating their positions all together, making them ineligible for unemployment.

· Burning through staff so quickly that in two years over 100% of the staff has changed.

And a quote from a letter written by a BCTI graduate prior to graduation:

“An me trial that has review about the paper and copies are for more people to see and different kinds of responses to the materials are outstanding and the intention are the best for getting things done. A review show everything the in what’s going on and have a better idea of what is need and not necessary for the company.”

All I can say is she received 100% for this assignment and has a ten thousand dollar school loan.