+ confessions of a red-headed stepchild: the taco tango

Thursday, August 25, 2005

the taco tango

If I had a blog last summer I would have totally blogged about the crazy lady at Javier's and the psychic that didn't see her coming.

Javier's is a 24 hour Mexican restaurant that has really excellent Mexican food. Although, if you choose to go there after normal business hours it can prove to be a freak show. Tom and I have been known to stroll in around 2am, and brave the crowds in an effort to quell an impending hangover, or two. But this particular night was OUT OF CONTROL.

As we stood in line waiting to order a woman who just finished ordering walked toward the front door with her drink in hand, bumping the man standing behind us in line. I couldn't believe she didn't apologize or at least say excuse me, but quicker than I could register that thought she fell off the steps, out the front door, skinned her knee and lost her drink. She came back in with blood dripping down her leg and sat in a chair to wait for her food.

By the time I got up to the counter to place my order her order was ready. She stepped in front of me, blocking me from placing my order, and began inspecting her burrito for sour cream. After a quick glance inside the tortilla she said "It doesn't have sour cream! I ordered sour cream!" Then she slammed her burrito onto the counter (picture beans and cheese exploding everywhere) and ordered the boy behind the counter to make her another one.

I was so appalled at what had just happened I was probably catching flies in my mouth. I turned to the boy behind the counter and told him to give her money back and refuse her service. She turned to me and instantly forgot about her burrito. I was the new enemy. I defended myself by telling her that you just don't treat people that way, we have all been the boy behind the counter, we have all been the pizza dude! But she wasn't listening. She got in my face and began yelling all sorts of obscenities. Tom jumped between us at which point he became her new enemy (see, she was crazy). I was afraid that she was going to hit him, and how he might react to that, and how her guy friends out in the car that hadn't seen all this craziness might react to the way Tom reacted. That is when the two men came in from outside picked her up and carried her out, her tacquitos getting caught in the swinging doors and crashing to their death on the ground.

In case you weren't keeping track, she left with nothing but a skinned knee, and she never got her money back. Once the coast was clear, Tom and I finally ordered our food. We sat down to eat recounting the events. The brother that was standing behind us in line helped himself to a seat at our table and began giving us a free psychic reading. One that contained no useful information as it must have belonged to someone else.

And what reminded me of this terribly funny incident is that something similar happened a couple of weeks ago. Tom and I went out for tacos at a new taco stand near my new house, in the same general neighborhood. The stand is in a parking lot of a little market that neighbors a trashy apartment complex. As we walked up to order our food, we noticed four or five people on the other side of the chain link fence drunk, and yelling at each other. A woman was pushing a man and slurring her words in such a way I had trouble understanding anything other than "Who is sucking my old mans cock while I am not home?" This seasoned woman already had one black eye and was asking for another one. I don't even think these people lived at the apartment complex, they were just drinking there, in the dirt, yelling at each other. A younger guy grabbed the lone 40 from the black eyed woman and started chugging it into oblivion. She was yelling and dancing around trying to grab it back from him with no luck. He threw the bottle on the ground, told all of them to fuck off and left the scene.

The moral of my story is: no good Mexican food comes without drama in NoPo.