+ confessions of a red-headed stepchild: i still hate my country

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

i still hate my country

I told my Dad when I was a teenager that I hated my country. That I would like to live anywhere else. He told me that was a normal teenager feeling, and as I got older and understood more about the world that feeling would change. Dad, I still hate my country. The more I know the more I hate. I am so angry and so sad. I am at work and my eyes are welling with tears. I have a meeting about an intranet project I am supposed to care about and it seems so irrelevant right now. I am scared.

As a young child, before I started hating my country, I had nightmares about a big uprising like World War III. Except the enemies were our own people, the police and the army of my own country. I didn't understand much about war, or nuclear weapons, but these things kept me awake at night shaking with fear.