+ confessions of a red-headed stepchild: speak up, i can't hear you

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

speak up, i can't hear you

I was talking with a friend on Sunday and she was telling me about migratory birds that come to Portland each year in the month of September. The birds swirl through the sky at dusk before making a dramatic entrance into the chimney at Chapman Elementary School where they sleep for the night.

With Tom being the bird watcher he is, I thought he would be really interested in this. I was telling him about the birds and he stopped me to ask:

"did you just say Swiss?"

He took the opportunity to correct me, telling me they are Swifts. Sorry bird lovers everywhere, I didn't hear the name correctly and have been calling them Swiss. As in cheese.

So last night went to see the Swifts and it was amazing. We brought wine, a little picnic and a blanket. Thousands of birds gathered in the air just before dusk. They swirled through the air in what resembled burning pieces of paper stuck in a twister.

swirling swifts

After an hour of teasing and diving towards the chimney they all spiraled into it. And they were gone as quickly as they came.

time to hunker in

But this post isn't really about the Swifts. I want to know how you have embarrassed yourself by calling something the wrong name, or singing the wrong words to a song. I will go first and I am including some of my friends because I want to embarrass them too.

The four funniest lyrics we thought we heard them say:

1. Back in high school we could not get enough of the Wu Tang Clan. And if you have ever listened to them, and you are a WHITE, GIRL, from SOUTHERN OREGON, you might agree that some of their lyrics are impossible to figure out without the cassette cover. The one line we still laugh about to this day is in Wu-Tang: 7th Chamber when they say "my clan is thick like plaster, bust ya, slash ya...", we thought they were saying: "broccoli on a stick like plaster..." Where did we come up with that? Rather who came up with it and why didn't anyone agrue?

2. In the 80's I remember hearing Stacy Q's Two of Hearts on the radio all the time. Only problem was I thought she was singing: "Two pumped hearts". I don't know why. What does that mean?

3. Jenni turned to her mom after hearing Love is A Battlefield by Pat Benatar and said "Mom, what is a fattle fee? Listen to it and I swear you will never hear the words battlefield EVER again.

4. Lastly, and most fun-ly, I heard Tom singing along to Jack and Diane by John Cougar Mellencamp and I actually heard him sing "Changes come around real soon make us swimmin' in men." I swear. He sang that.

I can't wait to hear all of yours...