+ confessions of a red-headed stepchild: I peed in the cup and filled it halfway

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

I peed in the cup and filled it halfway

I just went to a "pre-employment" drug analysis for a volunteer position. Yes a VOLUTEER POSITION!

I drank so much water before I got there I almost peed my pants while sitting in the waiting room. Why does the doctors office ask you to arrive at 12:00 and not see you until 12:15?

Once I was finally called back with the nurse I had to follow rigorous steps to ensure I wasn't able to alter the test results with someone else's urine, dirty hands, clean hands with soap residue, or by drinking too much water (I may have to go and retest if my urine was too dilute)! The nurse pierced through me with her accusing little eyes and told me that the results would be called into my supervisor in 24-48 hours. "Wait!" I said with great urgency, "this is for a volunteer position".

I couldn't stand the thought of her assuming my employment hinged on this test she knew I wasn't going to pass.